I’m an artist at making my wife crazy!” I got to take the test using an invented name…when I got the responses, I was shocked at the profile of my own behaviors described there…What I’ve told myself that were protective behaviors, like not telling her about my work difficulties, ended up being a huge problem when she discovered that I almost lost the only income we have. The worst aspect is my automatic tendency to block whatever she proposes… I know how she is expecting me to behave, and when I find this expectation, immediately do the opposite. My reaction is so fast that I haven’t observed it before…I covered it up thinking that it was constructive opposition, but she calls this attitude of mine “sabotage.” The truth is that when I come up with something different to create a fight, we don’t get to finish any of the home projects waiting for us. NOW, when I know what needs to be done and still wish to retreat and be alone, and let her work by herself…I see this attitude as real marital sabotage, and remind myself that this option is no longer a choice for me. And it makes such a difference! I can tell Nina about my temptation to frustrate her, and she tells me about how well we both will feel when we have finished painting the bedroom, and I feel motivated to help us both.”